Two out of our three children have special needs. Caroline was 7 when her femur fractured and she was diagnosed with Fibrous Dysplasia, a bone density disorder. She has undergone 7 surgeries in her short life and you would never know it! She is one amazing young lady!
Our other child with special needs is Griffin. We knew he had ADHD early on. When Griffin was 4, his peers were moving on and things were not getting easier. The two year old temper tantrums were now the 5-6 year old tantrums. Griffin was seven when he was officially diagnosed with Asperger’s – high functioning autism. I know you all have heard a lot about autism, I’m not here to tell you about autism, but about how God and our church family helped us beat autism. Early on our team at Vanderbilt told us that Griffin’s natural comfort zone would be at home. And it would be easier for is as a family to keep him at home. Why? It’s predictable and it’s controllable for the most part. At home there are fewer opportunities to upset the apple cart! But if we wanted our child to beat this diagnoses we had to get him out of the house and let him experience the world with all the curve balls it throws at you. It doesn’t sound too hard on the front side, but in reality, it was a nightmare at times. When you have unsolicited advice, looks of judgement, hear snide comments, it makes you just want to stay home. But that is not where you need to stay. We wanted to come to church, for us as parents, but also to raise both our children to know God. But coming to church meant stepping out of our comfort zone into the unknown.
During this time we had one special individual that went the extra mile to help us that was Cay Barton. Cay was the Children’s Director at the time. Cay would call me, track me down asking if we were coming to church next Sunday, coming to VBS, coming to family night and she always said and you are bringing Griffin aren’t you? Any time she would her hesitancy in my voice or see it in my face she would give me a hug and say:
1. He’s a child of God – perfectly made;
2. This is Griffin’s church family – His family and God want him here.
I can’t tell you what that meant to Chip and I. My child was wanted, my child belonged.
With Cay’s encouragement, we brought Griffin to church, to Sunday school, to VBS, confirmation, etc. And it was coming to church that gave us the courage to try other things like sports and Boy Scouts.
Becki Manni has encouraged him to continue to participate and he was an acolyte and went through confirmation. And now Griffin is signed up to go on the youth mission trip thanks to Joshua Strader. Today, you would be hard pressed to know that Griffin is on the spectrum. Many prayers for my child have been answered, but I want you to know that this church was the turning point for my child
I want us as church family to be that turning point for every other family that enters our doors. Let’s help them feel welcome here. Let’s let them know their child is a part of our family. Let’s give these families a place to be who they are without judgement and pity, but compassion and brotherhood. Let’s all be like Cay and give these families the support they need to move mountains for their children. God is on board and we need to follow Him.
I know there are people that loved Cay Barton and are upset that the Ark she built will need to be taken apart to build a sensory room for the children. Please understand that this sensory room means reaching out to all children – that was Cay’s ministry. Cay would be the first person to say – let’s repurpose the ark so we can build this ministry.
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